Few months out of my MBA I was looking out for some meaningful jobs… I had already bagged some stupid sales assignments but was getting totally frustrated with the unreasonable targets and paltry remuneration. I never thought I would be doing this kind of a job after an MBA. My parents were very supportive and ensured I did not fall into a depression. Not that I was ever susceptible but being the only child my parents ensured that they did their part most dutifully.
One morning before going to work I was scanning through the papers and saw this small classified advertisement from Tolani College of Commerce. The ad was for a lecturer’s post at the college’s BMS section. I had heard about the ambitious BMS course of the University of Bombay and was always inclined to teach. Plus I thought anything would be better than sales.
In response to my application I got a call from a sweet sounding person from Tolani college called Manju. She informed me that I had an interview. “Wow” I thought, “that was quick.”
Quite honestly I thought there would not be many MBAs interested in a teaching job. Moreover Tolani was never such a reputed college. In fact I had never heard of this college myself except that there was a bus that directly went to this college from the Juhu bus station.
My interview was at 12 noon and I used my Kinetic Honda to get to Tolani.
I soon realised I was totally wrong about the number of people applying for this job. Contrary to my expectation more than 50 MBAs of all shapes and sizes had turned up. There were MBAs from some of Bombay’s most prestigious institutes. Some of them even had up to 10 years of experience in the industry. Then there were others who claimed to be running businesses. So I never understood their motivation to apply to a job like this.
Many pretty women who had done their MBA some years back and were now married and were looking out for some ‘lite assignment’ had also turned up. These trophy wives even had the temerity to shamelessly talk about how this kind of a ‘little or no responsibility role’ would enhance their quality of life and provide them independence to buy vanity products out of their own pocket money.
Although the wait was killing but I somehow was having a good feeling about it. I made light of the grim silence that prevailed in the waiting room by making some casual remarks about the desperation. Some liked it and laughed, some didn’t understand it and some smirked and gave me those looks that were asking me not to act smart. These things helped me gauge competition. Making instant conversations with almost everyone who was not looking into the files I realised that there was no one in the room like me.
Yes on the negative side nobody in the waiting room had an MBA from a place like BVIMK, but on the positive side no one there had any idea about a fulltime lecturer’s roles and responsibilities. My communication skills and confidence too were better than most candidates. So much for being born to two Professors.
After waiting for almost 5 hours, it was my turn. I was the last guy to be interviewed that day. Ironically when I entered the room the panel did not look exhausted at all. On the contrary each of the 3 old men in the room seemed to be having fun. I thought may be the experience of interviewing so many women had got the oldies exited.
The first question almost stumped me. Aspi Doctor asked me, “What is your favourite TV Programme?”
“Bournvita Quiz Contest …” I found myself answering. I had never expected a question like this upfront. The answer was more of a reflex.
Another guy called Shahani asked me why I wanted to teach after an MBA. So I told him about my fascination for lecturing and gave him a little bit of my background by telling him that I was the son of two Professors. Wow that literally got me the job. Two of the three panellists knew my parents and I thought getting this job would be just a cake walk now. But then suddenly Aspi said “Well that does not mean you can teach. You see teaching is neither hereditary nor osmotic.”
Phew… never knew what to make of that statement, especially the osmotic bit.
There were other questions that followed. “Business Process Outsourcing… Do you know anything about this?” A Sindhi poet called Mirchandani asked. I think I gave an impressive answer. Honestly I had no clue what it meant. Another question “What will you do if a student asked you a doubt and you are not able to answer it?” In my mind I thought… “well, bluff… What else?” but controlled my emotions and keeping the most serious face said “To the best of my ability I will prepare before the class but if such a situation arises, I will admit I do not know and try and find the answer before the next class.”
As soon as I mentioned ‘admit,’ the Sindhi poet jumped up and said… “You will admit???” And I stood my ground and said “yes I will.” Though Mirchandani did not like my frankness Aspi and Shahani who surely had more experience teaching than writing things that people do not ready bought into my side of the stand.
More meaningless arguments followed. Somewhere in the middle of the interview I realised they had already selected.
In the end Aspi informed me that they will connect with me soon and if shortlisted I would have to go to the Head office for another interview round. I was almost certain I would be shortlisted and that is what happened. I was summoned to ‘Baktawar,’ the head office of Tolani Shipping. Two more people were shortlisted with me. One was an eye candy type trophy wife and another was a 65 years plus gentleman.
The interview there too was similar except that the panel now had another member – Rohet Tolani.
After the interview I was confident again but this time the guys chose the eye candy over me. A short letter arrived few days later in the evening by hand delivery. I was almost heart broken when some prick called Ram who first said he was the Vice – President and later corrected it and said he was the Vice - Principal of Tolani College called up and said “congratulations.”
I didn’t quite understand, but Ram explained that there had been a mistake and I was selected. Now before I could celebrate, Aspi the Principal of the college called up and said that there had been another mistake and my heart skipped a beat.
Aspi informed me that though I was selected but I would have to do a demo lecture to prove my worth. I thought that would be easy.
So on Friday the 13th of August 1999 I joined Tolani College as a Lecturer for the BMS.
More funny stories on Ram coming up in future blogs...
