The CISF at Hyd airport thought I was a terrorist...

Sunday 16th May 2010.

I was up and away early to the airport. I was going to Chennai for a morning evening trip. I had no luggage to check in. After meeting the smiling lady on the other side of the Jet Konnect counter and getting my boarding pass I thought I would go and have some breakfast at the airport’s departure food court. So I trotted towards security.

 

On most other days Hyd airport is as deserted as a cemetery. Today there was an unusual amount of rush at the security.

 

After patently waiting for almost 5 minutes to place my bag on the conveyer and watching people push their bags into it I decided to push mine too. The CISF security saw me do that and said in a stern voice... “keep safe distance from this... it is a machine.” I could not help myself saying... “if this is a machine... y is it taking so long.”

 

The CISF guy gave me a dirty look and I gave him a sweet smile... Didn’t work I thought but I was in no mood to make him feel any better.

 

Soon I was stepping on the yellow line and getting myself publicly groped in the name of frisking. Travelling so often I have learned to ensure not to let the metal detector beep even once... I do this ensuring all metal is on the table and not in my pockets... So my frisking was over sooner than expected.

 

With the stamped boarding pass in my pocket I moved to collect my luggage.

To my surprise the security guy asked me to open my bag...

 

I never expected anything to be there but since the security has the right to ask you to open the bag I did not argue and unzipped my back pack.

 

The objects the security found objectionable were two empty disposable water bottles in my bag. These were in my bag because I had visited a park with my wife and 7 month old daughter the previous day and like a good citizen who did not want to litter in the park I had carried the bottles home in my back pack. I forgot to dispose them at home as well and in the morning when I left home at 4.45 am it did not strike me that these harmless objects were still in my bag.

 

The CISF guy then asked me “ Why are you carrying these empty bottles?”

 

I knew that the CISF does not allow you to carry water bottles with water and wanted to make the situation light by cracking a joke here so I told the enquiring officer... “because you will not let me carry full bottles...”

A few chinki air hostesses heard this and giggled...

 

Phew... that was the end of it...

 

Insulted and furious the CISF officer asked me to step aside... I knew I was in trouble from the look of the people now surrounding me...

 

I was first asked for identification. I showed him my office Id. I thought this would be good as it was good to get me inside the airport.

“No,” he said... “Have you not got something endorsed by the Government.” I wanted to protest... why do you now want a government endorsed id when at the gate you were impressed by my office id... but I dared not argue...

 

I put my hand in my back pocket to fetch my wallet and almost all who were surrounding me ran for cover... I innocently pulled out my wallet and started to look for my driver’s licence.

 

I honestly had not noticed these guys run for cover. A kid who was watching this laughed out loud and broke the silence. It was only then that I realised what had happened and smiled myself.

 

This was it... hell broke out... The mean looking CISF guys started to shout at me...

One of them took my divers licence examined it and discarding(ly) dumped it on the table...

Another shouted at me and demanded my passport...

Before I realised two guys had held my hand and were almost dragging me to a room nearby under the pretext of making me meet someone more important...

In the room I saw an unusually small guy sitting on a chair with his feet dangling in the air and looking at a computer screen with concentration that could beat a teenagers ability to look at pornography. The two guys who had almost dragged me to the room threw my belongings on the floor in front of him and shouting(ly) explained that they found two empty bottles in my bag and told him that I could not satisfy them with my identification.

He still concentrating on the screen pushed a register like book towards me and asked me to fill the details in it... as I took position to bend down to write in the register on the table the small guy looked at me and realised I was big enough to murder him in one stroke if required. So he told the other two guys and asked them to stay in the room till I finish.

After I finished he asked me for my passport and I explained to him that I usually do not travel with my passport when I fly domestic. He then asked me where did I work and the mention of ISB made him a little soft.

Not wanting to scare him to by putting my had in my other back pocket to draw my visiting card case I asked him if he would want to see my business card. He agreed and I gave him a card.

From then on it was easy...

He next asked me where and why I was travelling... I explained everything and he was amused too...

But by now I could hear my name on the Public Address system. Although this was the most obnoxious pronunciation of my name I knew it was me they were calling out for as it was already 6.10 and my flight was scheduled to fly at 6.20.

I told this to the small guy in the chair and he asked me to gather my things... one of the other two started to help me but the one of them kept arguing that they had still not satisfactorily established my identity.

I was told that a thorough verification of my identity would be done in the next few hours and as I was in a hurry I agreed.

Soon I found myself in a siren blowing CISF jeep that took me to my Jet Konnect flight.

Thank God I work for ISB.